today had malay, social studies (which was somehw interesting) n english!!! 2nd SS lesson ths yr n i realised tht i nd 2 buck up on my history knowledge n answerin skills. haha. did a test n fang xiang was slackin beside me n mr ron tan kept tellin him 2 do e work. he jst said, "aiyah sir i'm thnkin la sir." haha. n mr ron tan's mood was ok la so thts y he ddnt scream @ fang xiang. oops wrng context. not scream i meant as scold. english lesson gt back our report card (finally) n did oral wif class (dnt thnk sick). english is much more fun n better than my othr language subj which i dnt wnt 2 say wht. nick lim was a joker still, bt was attentive. gt an example of an incident report n he pointed out three mistakes. haha. one was 'papers were thrown unto e floor'. haha n gt 1 phrase which sounds like mr maran is a student in e class. hah n fang xiang n i gt a same L1R5 of 13. i knw it sux. shall try harder nxt time. bt he gt a bad comments frm miss tan. haha.

ya npap trainin aft sch. was still thnkin of ideas 2 get into GOH contingent as im jst a reserve. however me n keith together wif 3 more guys frm othr sch were chosen as flag escorts. me n keith didnt like e idea of bein e escorts bt however e thght changed when we got e chance of bein in e parade n were in e position which is said 2 be better than GOH. bt i seriously pity zul la. he's drills are like super imba bt... i was bein bad 2 him la. sub-consciously i said to zul tht i will be his guard of... then i covered my mouth. i cant believe i said tht. he really wants 2 be in e GOH contingent bt... this is e sec 3 camp fault la. clashed wif one of e npap trainin days n missed e trainin which they selected e 100 cadets out of 150 cadets (appx.) to be in GOH. i felt like i kept bastardin him la. n i call myself a fren. walao. i feel like killin myself. i was so bad 2 zul, unnoticed. its like there was some force within me tht made me said e thngs tht hurtful 2 zul without me realisin it. n ya ate my medicine. cant believe tht i have a .....

so.. i nd 2 enjoy my life 2 e fullest, b4 i miss evrythng. ok ok...hmm maybe nxt wk, i'll beg/plead e CIs 2 let zul be in e GOH, together wif e rest who cant make it into e contingent coz missed a trainin as they were away @ campsite @ kahang. first, i let my dad down, nw is my bestfren. i really feel like killin myself la. why shld i live if i only let e souls of others 2 be hurt. anthr reason y i gt an extremely short haircut, almost bald by a cm is 2 let ppl insult me as much as they want. maybe e world is better without me..... im a loser n like terribly USELESS